Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
3 2 1 whiskey
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
