She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
