dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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