what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
