Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
zippers are such a cool invention
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
