is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
