Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
