I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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