Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
