It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
wow bdsm is so cute
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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