okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
