My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just cropdusted the office
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
