U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm passing your future prison.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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