Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
