You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
