It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
