do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
