I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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