Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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