is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
