FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
