It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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