a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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