i permit you to call me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
