Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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