clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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