that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
