Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
