he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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