We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
