your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
