did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
