batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
