I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
