i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
