My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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