My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
