Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
