I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
