i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
