I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
