My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
