Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
