I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Randomize
