I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We got so high we made milksteak
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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