Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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