the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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