used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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