i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
