You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
