We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
