Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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