how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
be right there i have to get my cape
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
