I just pynch a tree in the face
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
