If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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